


Once I was Blind, Now I See...

by Jenshih_Blue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenshih_Blue/pseuds/Jenshih_Blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had known one day that her ability would change her life. She never dreamed that it would help the world and make her one of the few that knew the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once I was Blind, Now I See...

**Author's Note:**

> AU Season 4 Post-Premiere “Lazarus Rising” contains religious themes possibly upsetting to some people.

_“Pammy, don’t you go getting too comfortable with that gift. That’s what happened to your momma and she never was the same. Some things ain’t meant to be seen or known.”_

Her grandmother’s voice was as unmistakable as if the old woman were standing at her side, murmuring in her ear. Those words were spoken to her nearly twenty years ago when as a terrified fifteen year old, who had heard her first spirit voice, had fled into her grandmother’s embrace. Norma, her grandmother, had raised her after her mother’s suicide when she was only two years old. Her father had been absent from the moment he’d discovered her mother was pregnant, not surprising considering they’d both been sixteen at the time.

Norma had been a wise woman, a practitioner of green witchcraft, an herbalist who’d learned from her mother before her the ways of nature. As Pamela lay there in the eternal darkness of what her life had become, she wished she’d heeded her grandmother’s words of wisdom. Her screams had been of pain, not fear, as her eyes had been set aflame in their sockets. She’d thought she would be dead once the pain had ceased, but it wasn’t that simple. Her existence had shifted in a heartbeat and this new existence had opened her eyes to far more than she ever wanted to know.

Lifting her head, as if she could actually see whoever was there—doctor, nurse, or aide, the faint creak of the door opening interrupted her thoughts. She ran her slender fingers along the smooth cotton of the bed sheets and hoped that whoever it was they didn’t have another needle. Needles pissed her off—how much blood did they need anyway?

“Pamela?”

She cocked her head to the side, “Yes, do I know you?”

“Yes and no,” the man cleared his throat, voice raspy.

She could hear his shoes scuffing along the tile floor and she frowned. There was sadness in his tone that she didn’t understand and then it dawned on her. She bit her lower lip, her hands trembling as she tried to calm her heart as it ricocheted off her ribs.

“I can leave if you wish.”

She shook her head and wondered if it were even possible for her to cry anymore, not that she would have as she heard him approach the bed. “No,” she whispered, “you can stay.”

He sighed softly as he lowered himself to the chair that she knew Bobby had placed there hours ago. “My intention was never to harm you. I tried to…“ He paused, voice filled with regret.

Pam laughed a bitter sound full of anger for her own stubbornness, “It’s not your fault that I’m stupid.”

There was the rustle of material as if the man was uncomfortable in his skin. “Not stupid,” he whispered his voice softening, “just curious as all humans are about my kind.”

“My grandmother used to tell me that there were things not meant for human eyes.” She tugged at the blankets, “Perhaps this is my punishment for not heeding her warnings.”

“No, not a punishment,” the man insisted. “You are one of the chosen few that are able to communicate with all worlds. Even blind, you can see.”

Pam sighed, fingers tightening, until her nails dug into the soft flesh of her palm. “See,” her voice rose, “I saw what you were; now I’m blind. How can you sit there and tell me I can still see?” A warm very human hand settled over hers and she felt her heart begin to slow. “All I see,” she choked on the emotion rising in her throat, “is darkness.”

“Let me help you, Pamela.”

“Why would you help me?” she snorted. “Why help a woman who refused to look away when she was warned to back away?”

“Because,” he whispered, his other hand coming up to stroke her cheek, “the Lord has work for you still, Pamela.”

A faint whimper escaped her trembling lips, “What could the Lord possibly have for a blind woman to do?”

If it were possible to hear a smile, the next thing she did was hear him smile. It was faint, bemused, and yet it held some measure of comfort, “You still have your gift. Just open yourself up. You have nothing to fear.”

She wasn’t sure if she should believe this being who sat so near, touching her with such compassion as no one else had sense her grandmother. “What if I die this time?” she questioned the silent darkness.

“You won’t.” He sounded so sure of himself.

Slowly she lifted the walls as his fingers tangled with hers and she released a ragged breath she hadn’t known she was holding. To her surprise, the veil of misty gray began to lift although she knew it was not through her now non-existent eyes. Somehow, by the grace of the powers that be, she was seeing something—no not seeing, but rather sensing. Within her mind, she could make out faint smudges of color, smears as if someone had melted a child’s crayons. She inhaled sharply and turned her head to see a rainbow smudge of light that slowly undulated and took on a vaguely human form.

“Oh my God,” she whispered.

The colors pulsed and swirled, “No, just a simple soldier to his right hand.”

“How?” she sobbed softly. “How can this be possible?”

“The Hindus call it the third eye,” he explained. “Long ago humans could look upon us in this way, see the truth of the spiritual world, but slowly they drew away, lost their gift. The Lord was saddened by this loss, but evolution is a part of this world.”

“Why now?” She folded her arms across her chest, “Why not before?”

A faint shimmer rippled through the colors reminding her of the trail of sparkles that Peter Pan left behind as he flew through the night sky of London, “Because even with eyes sometimes the human soul does not see. Sometimes the eye blinds the soul.”

Pamela couldn’t help the faint smile that tickled the corner of her chapped lips, “You’re so beautiful,” she sighed, “is that what burned away my eyes?”

“In a way—yes,” a sad smile sent the shimmer rolling through and over the colors. “Only you’re looking with the eye of your soul rather than your human eyes.”

She considered his words for a moment searching the room that now reminded her a bit of that movie she’d loved as a child, except it was the underlying current of spiritual energy and not inside a computer. “Everything has a glow,” the awe was nearly overwhelming.

Laughing softly, he stood, his hand sliding from hers, leaving a trail of silver and gold in the space between them. “Yes, it does. Few humans have ever accepted that everything holds a part of creation inside it.”

Pamela inhaled deeply, pulling the walls down again, and found the darkness not so frightening this time. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” his touch was light, a brush of downy feathers along her cheek. “We all have our destinies and sometimes they include pain that seems unbearable. You must hold tight to your faith and understand that even in darkness there is light.”

Before she could reply, he was gone in a rush of warm, flower-scented wind. Leaning back against the pillows, a gentle smile eased the lines of anger and pain from her face. “You’re right, Castiel,” she sighed, “finally I see.”

 

~Fin~


End file.
